Alongside the meme and all it’s workplace glory is another, less-appreciated office sidekick: The acronym. We might accidentally click a link to find it’s NSFW, BRB a coworker who’s Slacking too much—all while struggling to get that project done by EOD.
But lately, I’ve been finding myself at a loss when running into certain workplace scenarios that are completely devoid of acronyms, like forgetting your laptop camera is on during a call or accidentally drinking a large glass of concentrated cold brew. So, I created some brand new ones.
TL;DR: Check these ten new office acronyms and sum up just about any workplace event in five characters or less.
FYCO: Fear Your Camera’s On
It’s the general worry that your camera’s on during a webchat—even though you know it’s off.
Ever since that time when you took a meeting from home, wearing your ironic World’s Greatest Grandmother sweater while unknowingly broadcasting your camera to your entire leadership team, FYCO’s been an all-too-real anxiety.
SSYS: Still Sharing Your Screen
Another meeting mishap: You’re on a web chat with your team, and totally forget to turn off Share My Screen after showing your work. Then, with everyone watching your every click, you start Googling questions about that rash you’ve developed recently—or worse, making fun of the boss with your coworkers on Slack. *Gulp*
WHYM: We Hear Your Music
A half-plugged headphone cord or a bad bluetooth connection can lead to everyone in your office hearing your Tony Robbins audiobook as it blares from your computer speakers. Oops. Or maybe, helpful? Either way it’s unwarranted.
Ever see a coworker pulling out their headphones for a quick check? They’re making sure they’re not whym’ing everyone with their music. That’s a decent person right there, they appreciate office etiquette. Don’t ever let them go.
TJ: Time Jumping
It’s 3pm and you can feel yourself getting into the zone on a project. After what seems like a half hour, you take a break to reflect on your awesome work, only to realize it’s 6:00 PM. You time jumped!
Looking around at everyone putting on their coats you say, “I just TJ’d my entire afternoon, and all is good with the world.” Then Kari says, “Yeah but you were whym’ing everyone with your low-fi beats for like 20 minutes.”
ITIS: It’s Thursday? I’m sad.
We’ve all seen somebody experience ITIS. They start talking about their weekend plans as if they’re happening tomorrow. They have no idea it’s not Friday. This puts you in the uncomfortable position of having to remind them, “Oh Paul, how do I break it to you? It’s not Friday. The weekend isn’t tomorrow. It’s Thursday. I’m really, really sorry.”
Pro tip: Never let anyone think it’s Friday when it’s not. It’s better they experience ITIS sooner than later. Rip the bandaid off.
TEC: Two O’Clock Existential Crisis
Ah, the two o’clock existential crisis. The time of day where you go inward and question every choice you’ve ever made in your life. You might say in your head, “Ugh, I’m majorly tec’ing right now. I think I want to give up this office job, move to the mountains, and take up woodworking.”
DRCWC: Didn’t Realize the Coffee Was Concentrated
So your office just got cold brew on tap—but nobody told you it was concentrated and you drank an entire cup. You just experienced DRCWC and you’re feeling a bit insane. You might say, “Bro, am I crazy? I’m all Derky-Woc with this coffee. I can see through walls—but like, not in a good way.”
TFTW: Too Full To Work
You went out for lunch and ate what feels like twenty sandwiches. Now, you’re too full to work. It’s like your body has rationed all of its resources to break down your Tuesday feast.
At the time it seemed like an amazing idea, but now you see your inbox and you can’t even.
“TFTW everyone,” you Slack to the team, “For the next hour, I’ll just be a blob of regret, until I Derky-Woc some cold brew like a maniac.” Tuesday’s are tough.
WYLS: Worried Your Lunch Smells
With absolutely no obstructions throughout the open office, aromas of your egg salad can carry from the kitchen to the farthest desk at the speed of light. That’s where WYLS comes in.
Used in a sentence, you might say, “This egg salad is causing me to Wylis like crazy. And I’m sure everyone hates me, but I’m finally doing this paleo thing so they’ll just have to deal.”